Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Questions Not to Ask – or Answer—in Scarsdale

The competition practically begins when the child is in the womb. Parents, often well-meaning, strike up a conversation by asking nosy questions that in any other circumstance would be rude to ask. Asking a pregnant woman how much weight she has gained, or asking the mom or a toddler why he or she is so small are just two of the inappropriate questions that make new mothers grimace.

And it only gets worse as the children get older. Parents compare athletic prowess, academic achievement and even popularity. Nothing is off the table.

So what topics should you avoid?

Here are some of the questions that I was hit with during my three children's journey from nursery school to graduation. Often caught off guard by prying acquaintances and strangers, I rarely came up with a clever response at the time and usually ended up spilling the beans and divulging something I didn't want to broadcast.

Be prepared and be a good friend. Here's the list of my top questions not to ask and definitelynot to answer.

(To the parents of a 4 year-old)

Q. Will you be holding your child back or sending him/her to kindergarten next year?

(To the parents of elementary school kids)

Q. Is your son/daughter trying out for travel soccer (baseball, or basketball) as the case may be – followed up with the question that strikes even more dread, Did your child make the team?

Q. Do you dress her in those same pants everyday or does she insist on wearing them?

(To the parents of sixth graders:)

Q. Did your son/daughter get in to advanced or honors math?

(To the parents of seventh graders)

Q. Is your son/daughter invited to so and so's Bar or Bat Mitzvah this weekend?

(Here's one I got from a pushy friend on the train whom I did not intend to invite to my daughter's bat mitzvah)

Q. Tell me the date of your upcoming Bat Mitzvah so I can mark it on my calendar.

(To the parents of high school students – the questions grow more intense!)

Q.Is your son/daughter going to be in Civ Ed?

Q. Was your son asked to the St. Vincent's dance?

Q. What did your son/daughter score on the SAT's or ACT's?

Q. Which SAT II's is your child taking?

Q. Is your son/daughter applying early decision to college?

Q. So – where is your son/daughter applying to college?

Q. Has you son/daughter gotten in anywhere yet?

And even graduating college does not stop the questions .... they want to know:

Q. Does your child have a job yet?

Q. Is your child 'off the payroll? Living at home?

Q. Are your kids "seeing" anyone? Engaged?

Q. When is your son/daughter having a baby?

Pretty soon your kids will start getting these same questions about their own children and the cycle will begin again.

What questions do you dodge? Share them in the comments section below: