Mourning an Extraordinary Woman

Hundreds of congregants, family members and friends gathered to remember mother, friend and physician Robin Goldman at Young Israel in Scarsdale on Thursday January 21. She was found dead at her home on Tuesday, and in keeping with Jewish tradition, she was buried the following day.

The Modern Orthodox shul was packed, with many standing around the perimeter. Most funerals praise the dead, but this death – a shock to all – inspired extraordinary memories. Her three children recounted memories of their beloved mother and shared some of the things they learned from her. They wept as they spoke, bringing tears to almost everyone in the room.

Her youngest daughter, Jenna, called her mother her best friend and wondered how she would go on without her. She explained how her mother doted on her, shopped for her, corrected her papers, wrote her letters and even delivered food to her apartment. Noting her mother's ability to anticipate everyone's needs, the family called her superwoman.

Jenna recently suffered the loss of a good friend in an accident in Honduras and came home from Australia to be with her friend's family. She recounted the last conversation she had with her mother this week and resolved to continue to make her mother proud in the years to come.

Dr. Goldman took pride in both her own children and the students she taught at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, serving as a mentor to many. She also saw the children of friends and considered it her duty to give medical treatment to whoever needed it.

Daughter Alyssa told the group about a wonderful "around the world" wedding shower her mother and friends threw for her before her wedding in September. She was so grateful that her mother was at her wedding and said that Robin felt that two-thirds of her work was done when two of her children were married to good partners. Alyssa said that her mother valued family above all, and hosted imaginative holiday celebrations. This year, the theme for Hanukkah was Pictionary and the family enjoyed drawing on an easel she dug up from years ago. She wondered aloud why God seemed to be taken the lives of the earth's angels.

Son Adam shared thoughts on Goldman as a grandmother. She had special relationships with each of his four children, the last born just 31 days ago. His mother continued to shop for him and help him with his work, well after he was married and a father to his own children. Goldman loved the color purple and Adam purchased a purple stethoscope for her for Hannukah. He asked everyone to think of her every time they saw something purple. She also loved tag sales and shopping for Judaica which she distributed to her children to display in their homes.

Goldman's sister said that even though Robin was her younger sister, she had learned from her. She called her beautiful, elegant, strong and brilliant and said, "I did not have enough of you." She vowed to keep her nieces and nephews close and to remember her sister everyday.

Two friends also came to the bima to remember Goldman and marvel at her energy. In addition to working as a physician, and caring for her family, she was deeply religious, attending services often, serving on the sisterhood, bringing food to congregants and reading the weekly parsha. Outside the shul she was the president of the PT Council at her daughter's school, participated in several book clubs and served on advisory boards for the village of Scarsdale.

The rabbi said that Goldman recently went on a trip with other congregants to visit concentration camps in Poland. At one camp they stood over a ditch where many had been gunned down right at the end of the war. She asked, "Rabbi, how could God have let this happen?" Before the Rabbi could speak, the skies opened and there was thunder and rain. The rabbi explained that for some tragedies there is no plausible explanation.

And clearly none for the tragedy that took Dr. Goldman's life.

However, no one, not the family, not the friends nor the rabbis mentioned Jules Reich and the unspeakable act this husband had committed. They spoke without bitterness. It was remarkable to feel the love and the faith that binds this remarkable family to an admirable woman who could teach us all how to live.

The family asks that contributions in Goldman's honor be made to Young Israel of Scarsdale and AMIT.