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Published: 02 December 2013

Created: 02 December 2013

Last Updated: 02 December 2013

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Attention Scarsdale10583.com readers! Who do you tip at holiday time? How much do you give? Who do you give a cash gift to versus a non-cash gift? These are questions we all wonder about around the holidays, and it can be awkward to ask friends how much they are tipping. So, let's compile our results anonymously and determine the norms for Scarsdale.

Complete this one-minute survey on tipping at holiday time. The data will be analyzed and an article based on the results will appear on Scarsdale10583.com.

After you fill out the survey, ask your friends and family in the area to complete it too. The more people that respond, the better the data will be. Click here to complete the survey:

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Written by Stacie M. Waldman

Published: 12 December 2013

Created: 12 December 2013

Last Updated: 12 December 2013

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Tipping at holiday time can be joyous, stressful and even confusing. It's hard to know whom to tip and how much to tip or whether it would be more appropriate to give a gift. If so, is a small or big gift in order, or is a gift plus cash the right combination? We did a survey of 101 people in Scarsdale and surrounding areas to help determine what people like you are doing at holiday time for those who help to make our lives a little bit easier. Highlights are listed below and the table of results follows:

• Nannies and housekeepers are gifted the most (in dollars) at holiday time. Almost all respondents gave their nannies one week's pay, if not more. (A couple of people give their nannies 2-4 weeks pay.) Housekeepers most often receive a week's pay. Babysitters, as expected, are given less: 12% give a week of pay, 8% give between $10-$50, 7% give a small (<$25) gift, and 8% don't give anything beyond their regular rate.
• Most in Scarsdale are not tipping their gardeners, but those that do tend to tip very well, upwards of $76.
• Hairdressers are tipped well during the holidays in Scarsdale. After all, we all want to look our best at annual parties. Although 1/3 of people don't tip extra at holiday time, 7% tip between $10-25, 22% tip between $26-50, and 10% tip between $51-$150. Another 10% give a gift to their hairdresser.
• Garbage collectors receive generous gifts during the holidays. Really, who doesn't love those mini golf cart gizmos that speed down our driveways to rid the sides of our houses of trash? Only 11% of people don't do anything for garbage collectors. Almost half of people give between $10-$50, although it is unclear if this is per person or per truck. Another 11% give a small gift (<$25), 11% give $51-$75, 11% give $76-$100, and 4% give $101-$150.
• It pays to be a mail carrier. Although the U.S. Postal Service has a policy against mail carriers accepting any cash gifts, cash equivalents, or gifts over $20 in value, we in Scarsdale either don't know about it or choose to ignore it. 33% gave $10-$25, 28% gave $26-$50, and 6% gave $51-$100. Another 19% gave their mail carriers a small gift and 11% give nothing. Some people responded that they also tip their UPS/FedEx driver, and the amounts varied from $15-$50. Most people tip their newspaper delivery person with either a small gift or cash between $10-$50.
• Teachers most often received small gifts (<$25) from Scarsdale respondents. 13% gave cash gifts of $10-25 while $15% gave cash gifts between $26-50. 4% gave between $51-$75. If your child takes the bus, it's certainly appropriate to recognize the hard work of the bus driver and bus monitor. Gifts or gift cards are most appreciated and a range of $10-$50 per child is considered appropriate.
• Doctors are the least likely to receive cash gifts, understandable given their salaries compared to nannies and housekeepers. However, if your doctor has gone above and beyond for you or if you see them regularly, it's certainly appropriate to bring in a small gift of appreciation for the doctor or his/her office staff.
• The equivalent of one session or one week's pay is standard for a dog groomer, dog walker, personal trainer, music teacher, tutor, and regular aesthetician. Cash is the reigning wish from people in these professions.

Sarah White of Quaker Ridge enjoys tipping and gifting. She added, "I feel like gift giving around the holidays is somewhat obligatory and I am always worried that I am forgetting someone. She says, "I am approaching it more as a 'to-do' list." In fact, etiquette books often recommend making a list of people you wish to give to at holiday time so as not to forget anyone. Emily Weston of Fox Meadow said, "I do tip the garbage men and recycling men as well as the mail carrier, but as government employees, sometimes I wonder if it's appropriate to tip." And she's right, according to the postal service. She adds that there are some people who depend on it and build it into their yearly budget, so those are the people she prioritizes. "The dry cleaning delivery guy is always so kind and friendly when he sees me. The simple act of just being nice means a lot these days and I want to recognize that." Emily will be tipping him generously this year for his kindness and understanding.

Along with cash or other gifts at holiday time, it is important to remember to include a note thanking the recipient for their service. Kind words of appreciation mean a lot. If the person you are gifting interacts with your children on a regular basis, it is a nice gesture to include a little something from the child/children like a homemade card or art project. Sarah White believes teachers should receive the most, "...but that is often tempered by district policies," she said. So adding a special note from a child can make a teacher feel special and appreciated at holiday time.

Sources outside this survey suggest that a gift or cash in December is appropriate for service people who you interact with at least once a month. If you get your hair cut 2-3 times a year, it is unnecessary to make a special trip in to give a gift to a hairdresser. Likewise, some people responded that they tip their tailors, dry cleaners, launderers, and restaurant hostesses, but again, this is unnecessary unless you interact with these people regularly or they have recently gone above and beyond for you. There is also no "right" amount to gift, and the table below simply serves as a guideline. Sarah White cautioned, "It's hard to know what the 'right' amount is. It really does and should depend on how much you have in your holiday budget and this can vary tremendously family to family."

Thank you to everyone who participated in the survey. We hope that you got answers to your "What is appropriate to tip and who do I tip?" questions. Let us know in the comments if there are other people you tip during the holidays and what you tip them.

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Written by Stacie M. Waldman

Published: 19 November 2013

Created: 19 November 2013

Last Updated: 19 November 2013

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The 2013 Scarsdale High School Distinguished Alumni Awards ceremony on Saturday November 16 began with a warm introduction by Alejandro Garcia-Amaya and Julian Stein, board members of the Scarsdale Alumni Association. Kenneth Bonamo, Principal of Scarsdale High School (SHS) followed with a brief welcoming of the distinguished alumni, telling them that the message they send to students is, "Greatness is within your reach." Several alumni spent time on Friday, November 15th speaking with students in their classrooms. Nine alumni in all were honored; here are their inspirational stories:

The first person to be honored was Judy Cheng-Hopkins ('70), a past honoree who was unable to make it to the previous ceremony. Cheng-Hopkins came to the U.S. as a Malaysian exchange student with the American Field Service in 1969. Her host family was socially and politically progressive, which helped shape her experience in America. After high school, she enrolled in college in the U.S. and then earned her Master's Degree in in Economic Development from Columbia University. After graduating, Cheng-Hopkins secured a position at the United Nations Development Program and worked in Sub-Saharan Africa for many years. In 1997, she became a Director at the World Food Program. In 2006, she was appointed as the Assistant High Commissioner for Operations, one of the highest positions within the UN. In this impressive role, she is in charge of helping high-conflict, war-torn countries and regions determine a plan for sustaining peace once a commitment to peace has been established. She believes that her experience at SHS made her what she is today, and her education taught her how to write and read well. "And 40 years later, I remember almost all of my teacher's names," she concluded.

Howard Gertler ('92) is an Oscar-nominated producer. His documentary feature film "How to Survive a Plague" was nominated for an Oscar and won the Gotham Award for Best Documentary, the New York Film Critics' Circle Award for Best First Feature, the International Documentary Association's Emerging Filmmaker Award, and the GLAAD Media Award for Outstanding Documentary. He has numerous other film titles to his name as well. He is very active in the NYC film community including the Tribeca Film Institute and the IFP. Gertler attributes his success in part to his teachers at SHS and the values they instilled. Flipping through his yearbook, one of his teachers wrote, "If you settle in and do the work, your own creations will give you pleasure." This sentiment has remained with him and has helped him throughout his career.

Kimberly Harris ('88) was recently named as an Executive Vice President and General Counsel for NBCUniversal. Prior to accepting this position, she served in the White House as Deputy Counsel and Deputy Assistant to President Obama from 2010-12. In this role, she worked on two State of the Union addresses. Although she did not write the speeches, she vetted the text of the speeches for potential legal issues. This year, she is proud to have been honored by the NYC chapter of the National Organization for Women for outstanding commitment to women and the law. She believes that SHS gave her the confidence to believe that she could be anything she wanted to be. In fact, two of her teachers visited her when she worked in the White House, impressing upon her how much her high school days had influenced her. She felt her teachers' visible and audible confidence in her abilities. One of those teachers was Werner Feig. She credits him with making history, politics, and social studies come alive and inspiring her to pursue a degree and a career in law.

Janet Karim ('72) is a diplomat for the Permanent Mission of Malawi to the UN. She has tremendous responsibility in this position; her work encompasses social, cultural and human rights issues. She acts as the Mission's representative to UNICEF and other UN executive boards. For twenty years, Karim was a journalist in Malawi and was the first female editor with her own publication in Africa. She was influential in getting UNESCO to fund the first woman-run radio station in Africa. Karim moved to Scarsdale from another part of Westchester after her father, a diplomat as well, determined that Scarsdale was "the best school district around." The Karims were only the fifth family of color living in Scarsdale, during the era of civil rights demonstrations and apartheid, which she called, "a very difficult time to be living in America." Her first SHS report card was terrible and her teachers complained that she never questioned them. Her mother met with the guidance counselor and from then on she understood that Scarsdale teachers expected to be challenged by their students. Karim said, "I have been in so many situations where I was the only woman or only person of color, and I have always overcome those challenges. I believe," she continued, "Scarsdale High School has helped me learn how to challenge life's circumstances and move beyond them." Karim credits SHS with helping to make her the successful woman she is today.

Richard Kostelanetz ('58) is a writer, visual artist, critic, poet, composer, filmmaker, media artist, and lecturer. He is a Woodrow Wilson, Fulbright, Pulitzer, and Guggenheim fellow. To this day, he attributes his success to his ninth grade English teacher who taught him grammar. Kostelanetz finished his brief award acceptance speech by saying, "After being profoundly radical, deviant and unacceptable in so many ways, elite recognitions and acknowledgements are all a pleasant surprise. "

Michael Madden ('90) works for the U.S. Treasury Department as Deputy Assistant Secretary in the Office of Intelligence and Analysis. He served in the U.S. Army and remains an Active Reserve, and he served in the Peace Corps in Kyrgyzstan. He spent Friday speaking with SHS students and exclaimed, "It was a humbling experience to be back home in Scarsdale. I'm really impressed with the students." Madden was the second president of the debate team back when there were only two other debaters and it almost folded due to lack of interest. Madden found a faculty sponsor, fought to maintain the team and today it includes 120 students who often fly around the country for debates. Madden also attributes his professional success to SHS teacher Werner Feig. "Mr. Feig taught me to question and challenge authority because they often get it wrong," he said. Now that he's on the other side, he agrees with that statement. Madden is impressed with the importance placed on service in Scarsdale, and he encouraged students to be of service in some way whether through community volunteering, the Peace Corps, or government. He encourages SHS students to strive for positions of authority and responsibility, in which they can use their education to truly make a difference.

Suzanne Nossel ('87) is the Executive Director of the PEN American Center. She also served as Executive Director of Amnesty International USA, worked at the U.S. Department of State, and acted as COO for Human Rights Watch. Suzanne is a published author, a blogger, and has served at the Century Foundation, the Center for American Progress and the Council on Foreign Relations. Suzanne is a regular contributor and commentator on human rights issues for major news outlets including CNN, MSNBC, and NPR. Nossel was at SHS during the 1980s when Jews were prohibited from practicing their religion in the Soviet Union, and it had such a profound impact on her that she joined the SHS Soviet Jewry Club with 30 other students. An activist was born, and she marched with the club down Fifth Avenue to the UN with a SHS banner to protest the treatment of Soviet Jews. It lit a fire in her and that intensity eventually carried over into her professional life. She is grateful to SHS and her teachers for teaching her how important it is to find professional fulfillment.

Cynthia Rosenzweig ('66) is a Senior Research Scientist at the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies, a Professor at Barnard, and a Guggenheim recipient. She recently co-chaired the NYC Panel on Climate Change. How did she get to NASA from Scarsdale? She credits the school for inspiring a love of learning and tolerance for differences, "like quirky is okay." She feels that the most special part of SHS are the parents and the community coming together for their children's educational benefit. Prior to accepting her award, she reminded the audience, "Climate change is the planetary issue of our time."

Daniel Schacter ('70) is a Professor of Psychology at Harvard University and a former Chair of the Psychology Department. He is one of the world's leading experts on memory and has over 350 publications credited to his name. He is the author of two books, both of which were recognized as New York Times Notable Books of the Year. Schacter is a fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and received the Award for Scientific Reviewing from the National Academy of Sciences. His work includes a focus on conscious and unconscious memory, distortion of memory, and the effect of aging on memory. While a student at SHS, his interest in psychology was sparked in Mr. Stemmer's health class. The class had a large psychology component and he became hooked on the subject for life. Schacter thinks SHS's main strength remains its student body, saying, "It's just as impressive as the Harvard student body."

Please see the Scarsdale Alumni Association website for more information. New members are welcome. Visit: http://www.scarsdalealumni.org to learn more. The awards ceremony is held annually and is open to the public. There are even donuts.